How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
