Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
