Me too!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize