Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
