I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
