Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
