super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
