3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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