Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
