I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
