a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
