have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
