That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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