There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
