I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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