i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
