I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
