Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
