Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
