Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Say something about gay babies.
Four minutes until I can fart!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
