She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I supernannyed him into submission
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
