Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
