Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
