Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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