The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
