Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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