You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
