she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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