so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
