we're chasing vodka with high fives
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
