Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
