I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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