people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
