She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
