he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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