i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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