Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
