I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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