Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
