I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
