Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
