I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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