booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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