that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
