If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
