Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
