I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
