Dual....:-)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
