don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
