Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
