She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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