she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
