she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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