Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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