Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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