Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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