If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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