he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think my nap took me to another dimension
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize