Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
