he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize