I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize