Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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