if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
