I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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