Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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