Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The air was thick with penises
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
