I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize